Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Anxiety

I have anxiety.

Not so hard to say, very hard to have control over.  Some are ashamed, I'm certainly not.  I truly believe that my tendency to over-care (such thing?) and be anxious come hand-in-hand.  It runs in my family, we all have it, some of us take medicine for it, others (myself included) do not.  

In a way I feel like all parents have some degree of anxiety.  The feeling that naturally comes that makes you worry incessantly about the well-being of your child/ren.  The anxiety I have goes like this and this is a very true and real account of the way my mind spins out of control sometimes, this happened this morning on my way to school:

"Frank said he was running behind this morning, I wonder if he sped to work, I would die if he got in a wreck and died, stop thinking stupid things, just call him, he doesn't answer his phone, breath in, breath out, would someone call me if something terrible did happen, I can't imagine him being hurt on the side of the road without me, oh lord I'm giving myself a headache, oh my phones ringing and it's Frank! The end."  

This happens several times a day about several different people and things.  I think about a person, think about the fact that I haven't heard from them and immediately go into freakout mode.  Literally within 30 seconds I have concluded that he or she is dead and I start planning eulogies in my head.  Sick right?  Thankfully, I can put my mind back to where it needs to be pretty quickly.  If I let myself, I could probably go insane, I just don't let myself. 

Everyone has their battles, this is one of mine.

7 comments:

  1. Thank you so much for posting this. I do this too, and it gets worse the older I get. I'm sure I'll eventually have to get on medicine in a couple years and that scares me too.

    I'm so glad to hear that someone else has these same feelings.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I fear getting on medication for it too, seems inevitable since my mom and grandmother are but we will see! Sometimes I feel like I DO have control over it and other times, I Just dont.

      Delete
  2. Thank you for writing such an honest post and sharing it with us! I am going through a simmilar struggle right now and it's nice to see I'm not the only one..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're definitely not the only one girl, I hope that you'll be able to calm your anxiousness better than I have been able to lately.

      Delete
  3. oh and also.. over at my blog www.myveryownhappyending.blogspot.com I've nominated you for the Versatile Blogger award..

    ReplyDelete
  4. i am the same way...if my husband doesn't text when he gets to work i literally freak out and will drive there (with my son) to see if his car is there. I assume the worst...finally I got some medication which makes it quite a bit better but still i have some anxiety issues!

    ReplyDelete