Saturday, August 18, 2012

Age Doesn't Matter


I planned to write about this when my little sister had her baby.
And then I didn't.
I planned to write about this whenever I found out that I was pregnant.
And then I didn't.

So I'm writing about it now.

When you hear that a seventeen year old is pregnant what do you think?
I used to think, "seventeen? Wow.  She's stupid."
Along with others things, like I wonder if she did it on purpose, her life is going to be so hard now, and she's probably not going to be a good mom.

Judgmental, right?
I used to be really good at judging people.
Not exactly something I'm proud of.

When I found out that my little seventeen year old (at the time) sister was pregnant I was mortified.
I asked all of the questions, like "weren't you using protection?" and (gasp) "are you going to keep it?"
I feared that Ally's life was ruined.
I questioned her ability to mother a baby, she was just a baby herself.

On October 19, 2011 Payton was born and Ally started down her path of mothering.
Ally was newly eighteen years old and had just about zero experience with babies.
She did what you do when become a mother though, she mothered, she loved, she worried and she basked in the newness.

On July 8, 2012 Cooper was born and I started down the path of mothering.
I was (am) twenty one and a half and I've had several years of experience with babies.
I did what you do when you become a mother.  I mother, I love, I worry and I'm basking in the newness.

All of that to say this.  
It doesn't matter if you're eighteen, twenty one or thirty.
If you become pregnant (regardless of the circumstances) you have a choice.
You get to choose what kind of mother you want to be.
It isn't about age.
It is about responsibility.
It is about support.
Age doesn't matter.
I no longer question a young, un-married girls' capabilities when it comes to mothering.
She can do it if she wants to.
She can be just as good of a mother as a thirty year old.

4 comments:

  1. I went to school with a girl who had a baby at 15. She is a fantastic mother. I know she had a lot of help from her own parents at the start, but she did a great job raising her now 8 year old. She finished college and now works as a nurse. She has done a fat better job than many older women in permanents relationship/marriages. You can be a great Mum in your teens, or a terrible one in your 20's, it's definitely not about age, it's about each individual person and the way they choose to do it!

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  2. I completely agree with this. I used to be really good at judging too. Heck, I'm sure I still struggle with it from time to time. But I'm trying to change that. I love seeing pictures of Ally and Payton, and I love seeing pictures of you with Cooper. The love that both of you have for your babies shines straight through those photos, and you can tell that both of you are amazing mothers.

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