Sunday, September 23, 2012

SHE HAS CANCER

This is hard to write about.

My sweet hairdresser turned friend and her husband have been trying to have a baby for two years now.  After much convincing she decided to see her ob/gyn about it.  Due to having an ectopic pregnancy shortly after getting married, the ob/gyn decided to run a few tests to make sure she didn't have a blockage in her tubes.  She didn't.  After further examination they discovered issues with her ovaries and that is where things started to get a little crazy for her.  

A pap came back abnormal.  They needed to cut out a part of her cervix for further testing.  Upon further testing it was determined that she had cervical cancer.  And not the cervical cancer that 80% of women get, or the kind that 19% of women get, but rather, the kind that less than 1% of women get.  The kind that they don't really know much about, except that it is very, very aggressive.  

She was told that around 150-300 women in the United States have this type of cancer.  On the facebook support group for this type of cancer there are only 177 women total, out of all of the people in the world.  What are the odds?

Initially they believed that she might be a candidate for a surgery that has been performed somewhere around fifty times.  A surgery that has been performed at a hospital in Texas and a hospital in New York City.  A surgery where they would completely remove her cervix but allow her to keep her uterus and that would leave her with a 20% chance of conceiving.  

After meeting with the oncologist and speaking with the doctor in Texas who has performed the surgery it was determined that she must have a hysterectomy and that she must begin chemo immediately after.  Mind you, this is only if her PET scan shows that her cancer has not spread to other parts of her body.

My heart is breaking for her and her sweet husband.  They really need your prayers.  She is having an incredibly hard time understanding why, as expected, and really needs to see and feel Gods love right now.  Will you pray for her?

"I just wish it was one or the other.  I wish I could just have a hysterectomy and be done with it, or go through chemotherapy and still get to have a baby.  It's really lose lose and it's really not fair." - B

She's so right.  It's not fair.  It's not fair that at 26 years old she has to have a hysterectomy because out of the blue she finds out she has cancer.  It's not fair that all her and her sweet husband want is a baby and they don't get to have that.  Yes, she can get a surrogate (if they can come up with $40,000) or they can adopt, but after having a baby of my own I totally get her hurt.  She wants to carry a baby in her own body.  She wants to experience growing and birthing a baby.  She won't get to do that.

It's incredibly hard to bring Cooper around them without feeling guilty.  They want to see him.  They love him.  But he is a baby that came to me so easily and accidentally, I'm sure there is a sort of jealously and lack of understanding for them and I do not blame them one bit.  I would feel the same way.

Right now she specifically needs prayers concerning the PET scan she just had done on Friday.  We want to hear that her cancer has not spread. 

"I can't even pray for myself right now.  It's not very comforting when people tell me they are praying for me, but I'm glad they are.  Does that make sense? I know deep down that God is behind this and there is a reason for this challenge, I'm just not there yet though.  Why me?" - B

This literally scares me to tears.  If it can happen to her, it could happen to me.. and you.. and that is scary.  So, so scary.  

7 comments:

  1. This made me tear up, I am so, so, sorry to hear this story. I don't know your friend but I'm a woman of similar age and know how devastated I would be. Sending lots of love and prayers her way.

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    1. Thanks girl! She definitely needs all of the love and prayers she can get.

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  2. Oh my goodness, your poor, poor friend! I will absolutely be praying for her and her family.

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    1. Thank you. She sure needs it. We did find out today that the cancer has not spread, so that is wonderful news considering.

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  3. I will be praying for your friend and her family and friends.

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  4. I am definitely praying. It's times like these I wish understood God's immaculate plan,but I don't. It seems so unfair and even as I watch my two children, that too came with ease and little thought, I can't grasp not being able to have children. I can't imagine the whole idea or what I had planned out in my head being destroyed with a doctor's appointment. On the flip side of all of this, she was potentially saved because of a pregnancy. It seems that this would be better than being with baby and having to make the decision to terminate or possibly lose both lives. There is a plan and it is divine. This is not to excuse the hurt or anger, but there is a plan. I pray that she is blessed beyond measure and in a few years she is able to look back and understand. We are molded by what happens to us and what we go through and many times not until we are able to look back with great distance are we able to fully understand why we had to go through any of it. Again, I am praying and will pray for complete healing. God works in mysterious ways. A lady our work with, had stage 3 breast cancer. She has undergone chemo and is scheduled for a double mastectomy in December at the age 31. When she went in for her last scan, the lump was gone. She is still moving forward with the mastectomy on her own. So with that I say, I pray for complete healing and a miracle in terms of human understanding. I also pray for comfort, peace, and understanding as they embark on this scary and seemingly unfair journey. (sorry to ramble and hugs to you as well)

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