Thursday, October 4, 2012

Dear Cooper // Week 12

My Little Love,

Happy 12 weeks my sweet boy.  I anticipate the day that I tell you about these letters and you search for my blog, find them and read them.  Will you see through my words how large my love for you is?  Will you be able to tell by the ridiculous amount of pictures I take, how often I talk about you and how much I say that I love you just how much I do love you?  I know we will disagree one day but I always want there to be hugs and kisses when the day is over.  We are going to go through so many stages, the two of us, and I'll always be mom first, but I hope we can be friends as well.  All of these thoughts for the future, they're running through my head tonight as you lay asleep in your bed and I sit here watching Parenthood and missing you with a vengeance.  It's funny how that is, the whole missing you immediately after I've laid you down to sleep thing.  When you're sleepy and crying I just want you to fall asleep so badly.  Not because I'm tired of you or anything crazy like that, but because I know you need your sleep, but once your asleep I think how much I'd prefer you awake and in my arms.  

You're smiling so much and laughing occasionally as well.  Your high pitched laugh that reveals its sweet self when your smile is at its largest, it literally makes my heart swell.  I get this feeling, like I can hardly handle it, its too great.  We have our best talks when you're on your changing table.  You look at me with this wonder in your eyes and you smile, squeal and talk like a pro.  I know I said these things last week, but they are becoming more and more frequent and they seem important to mention!

You did a huge thing this week which officially sets you on your path to becoming a big boy.  I'm not quite sure I'm okay with it either.  You ROLLED OVER! I can still hardly believe it.  We laid down for tummy time and you were kicking and rocking like your usual self and next thing I knew you were on your back.  I just looked at you and laughed and then realized that we hit a milestone and cried.  I'm so proud of you but at the same time I am so sad.  I'm not ready for you to be anything but a teeny tiny baby.  I don't think I'll ever be though, so you just keep doing your thing! It sounds absolutely crazy, but I think you say "hey."  I'm constantly saying "hey Cooper/buddy/baby/etc." and you will make a noise that sounds exactly like "hey" each time that I do.  You're a smart one, Cooper James.  

I love you, buddy.  I love my days with you.  I love never missing a minute of your life.  I dread January and having to finish up school.  I never want to leave you.  You are the biggest joy in my life and I would not trade being your mom for anything.

Much Love,

Mom
xoxo

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4 comments:

  1. Awwwwww, he's so cute and what a sweet smile.
    I've added myself to your followers and joined the book club.
    Found you on Amy's blog :)

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  2. He's getting so, so big! And he's just sooo cute. I'm glad I got to see him on our video chat! And congrats on hitting 100 followers :)

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  3. He is SUCH a cutie! and he will love having these letters to look back on.

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