Monday, November 26, 2012

Liar, Liar

{via}
I think I mentioned before that I dated a liar?

Not even briefly either, we're talking four.five years straight of lies.

And not little lies either.  For example, I was visiting family in New Hampshire and he was in Georgia (home) and fishing on the lake down the road, or so he said. In all actuality, he was in Panama City Beach (SIX hours from home) fishing on the ocean and dipping out on work.

I lost my trust in him within the first six months, easily.  After that it was this constant game of earning back a little bit of trust and then losing it... again and again and again.  So why did I stay? I think it was mainly because he was older and I was in high school and it made for a pretty fun time.  It was also because I loved and still love his family. Oh and I loved him too and love makes people do crazy things, I think we can all agree on that.  

Anyway, looking back I think about all of the crying and the screaming; constantly feeling broken and hurt over someone who didn't even respect me enough to be honest with me.  I also think about our trips to the mountains with friends, going to New Hampshire together, going to the beach together, our first date to the Shady Dale Rodeo and more, so much more.  It's amazing how I justified his lies and actions so that we could remain "Libby + Mac forever."  And funnily enough, I truly thought I'd marry him.  It's funny now because I see how naive I was, how inexperienced I was, and how not only was I being disrespected by him, but by myself as well.

Tonight I'm thinking about how life has this funny way of happening.  Before you know it you're sitting on the floor in your own home with your four month old baby reminiscing on the days of Cartel concerts with "CSL" and running into your boyfriend on a double date with someone else. I think it has to do with protecting our hearts, time moves on quickly to heal the wounds.  

I hope that Cooper isn't that guy.  In all honesty, I don't want him to be like Mac or Frank.  I hope he will listen to his dad about the consequences that came from his actions and I hope he will listen to me about the heartache I felt as a direct result of Mac.  I know Cooper will make mistakes, struggle with making and keeping friends, attempt to have fun in whatever ways he can, etc. but I hope he does it all with dignity and respect.

I got trampled on because I let myself, but that doesn't mean that guys going around behaving the way Mac did (does?) is okay.

p.s. A couple of years after being separated from Mac I learned that he cheated on me consistently throughout our relationship.  So thats cool. Glad I gave my virginity away to someone worthy. 

2 comments:

  1. Oh, how I can identify with this post so very much. We (ex and I) didn't have a child together, but a lot of what you're saying rings so very true. It takes so long to forget the years of betrayal, but I'm working on it even though he isn't even in my life anymore. It also makes my present relationship more difficult because I assume the same will happen.

    Sometimes it's good to look back though. You get to see the strength in allowing yourself to finally walk away after all of that.

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  2. I just stumbled across your blog and loved this post. I dated a liar and about a year and a half in, found out he was dating somebody else as well! I ended up finding the girl and we became best friends! Crazy how life works.

    I'm your newest follower :)

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