Monday, March 25, 2013

DEAR DIARY


This week has been interesting, diary.  There's something to be said about opening yourself up to an audience full of unknowns.  You get support, you get dogged, you feel self conscious.  It mostly feels good though.

I think about the direction that my life is headed in.  My schooling.  My Etsy Shop.  My blog.  My relationships with people.  Where are they headed?  I feel like I'm wandering around with a blindfold on, waiting for someone to untie it and yell "surprise!"  Where will I be when it's pulled off?  I'm confident that it's good, I'm waiting though.

Cooper spins in circles now, about like my mind does.  He's scaling the living room and I'm hunting baby gates.  We're here! How have we already arrived here? I'm reminded each day that time is fleeting and regardless of how many videos and pictures I take, I can't keep it all soaked in.  It's a sad reality.

There's some discouragement surrounding my little shop, I'm trying to rise above it, honestly, I'm failing though.  I keep tweeting and then deleting.  I've lost some followers.  I want to say I don't care, but I do!  I DO CARE.  I want my voice to be heard, too.  I'm doing my own thing and I've never had any intentions of business-stealing.  Enough, enough, I know.  I need to move past this.

I think I'm missing cable a little too much.  I find myself craving the noise.  I watch shows on my computer, it's not the same though.  It's an interesting thing going from having TV for twenty two years to not having it.  It's minuscule, just something that I miss.  I'm pretty proud that I don't have Cooper sitting in front of the TV for any amount of time each day, so this is a good thing.

Cooper gagged on a puff and gave me a heart attack this morning.  I came the closest I've ever come to running out of gas this afternoon (COASTING, PEOPLE).  Tonight I'll get home just in time to feed, bathe, and put my sweet baby to bed.  After that I'll probably eat no less than four samoas while I pump.

This is my life.

3 comments:

  1. chin up girl! it gets better and things take time to grow!

    ReplyDelete