Thursday, March 21, 2013


My feelings are so conflicted lately.  I am so happy and proud of Cooper.  I feel so incredibly blessed to be here witnessing each second of his life.  I am helping to shape him into his person.  I am teaching him and loving him fiercely.  I am sad too though.  When Cooper does something new, exciting, or funny it makes my heart beat fast, I'm so proud, but then I think about all of his family members that live within ten miles of us and never see him.  They don't call me, text me, or try to communicate with me through Frank.  Cooper went from knowing and feeling the love from his dads family to being completely abandoned by them.

I feel like they chose Frank over Cooper and nobody asked them to or made them choose.

I want to know why.  I want to know why they can't accept the fact that Frank and I did not work out even though Frank and I already have.  I want to know why they can't come visit Cooper.  I want to know why they don't ask me to bring Cooper to visit them.  I want to know why they don't ask me for pictures.  I want to know why they didn't tell me thank you for the pictures I sent them two weeks ago. I want to know why.

I want to know how they can be missing out on his precious baby-ness, it is slipping through our fingers so quickly.  I want to know how the can drive right by our apartment complex without stopping by to kiss their grandchild.  I want to know how Frank went from living with Cooper to CHOOSING to never see him.  I want to know how Frank can look Cooper in the face and tell him "Daddy loves you, Daddy misses you, Daddy's going to come see you more" but never back those statements up with action.  I want to know how my family, my friends and myself are the only ones showing Cooper the love that he needs and deserves.  How?

You all have seen.  Cooper is growing and changing so quickly.  How will they not regret the decisions they are consciously making to not be a part of this sweet baby boys life? I thought these were good people (for the most part), I was so wrong though.

Cooper James, you are SO loved by all of the people who deserve to have you in their life. You are going to flourish in this life.

I need patience and understanding.  I need peace about all of this.

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there. I suspect that you and everyone who will be important in your Cooper's life are going to shower this boy with all the love he can handle!