Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Its been six months.

Yesterday was the six month mark. Cooper was five months and two days old when he left.  It was a Thursday night, he was drunk, he left, and he never came back.

Instead of going backwards, what led up to him leaving, I want to go forward.  The last six months has been the hugest learning experience.  It almost felt like a victory that we made it to the six month mark.

I knew I could take care of Cooper on my own.  It was the loneliness that I wasn't prepared for.  And the "how in the hell am I going to pay all of these bills?" that nearly paralyzed me.  The first month after he left I still have cable so the complete silence didn't hit until month two.  I would put Cooper to bed at seven and then... what? What was I supposed to do?  Well start a business, of course.

My Etsy Shop was born in January but didn't really take off until March after a lot of hours and what little money I had were put into it.  It has pretty much been going up since then!  This little shop means more to me than you will even know, for the simple fact that it is keeping my baby in his home.  I need to finish school, I can't afford daycare, etc.  His life was changed so much when his dad left, I knew that if I couldn't do anything else, I needed to keep him where he is the most comfortable and happy.

So in the past six months I have pushed on with school, I have cried a lot, I have watched my baby learn to crawl, I have learned to embrace the quietness at the end of the day, I have turned a dream into a reality and now have my products in sweet little babies nurseries, I have recently started really working with Cooper on walking, and I have found happiness with myself.

I thought I was ready to date a few months ago and it turned out that I wasn't.  Now I feel like I am.  I am praying that God places the perfect man in Cooper and I's life, and that he comes along sooner, rather than later.  In the mean time, I will be loving my sweet boy and working to grow my little business.  What a dream it would be to not have to pay rent with student loans! What a dream!

I wanted this post to be more about the growing that has taken place in the past six months, rather than talking about Etsy, but then I concluded that LouLou Made has been such a huge part of "recovering" from this "trauma" and that they do go hand in hand.  I want to provide my sweet boy with the very best life, that's all.  


P.S. Each Etsy order I get makes my heart beat fast.  I love this business.  I love creating.  I need to find ways to keep this good thing I've got going.  Would you mind spreading the word? Do you have a friend or family member expecting? Are they looking for custom nursery bedding and accessories? I am your girl! 


  1. I have been meaning to buy something and now I'm doing it (I'm obsessed with the deer head print -- I clearly need a deer head intervention). I'm so inspired by you and your heart and you deserve it more than anyone I know. I'm positive you are going to meet the man of your dreams!!!

  2. Cooper is blessed to have such a great mama. =) Six months is a milestone. Keep that chin up!

  3. I am so happy for you that your shop is growing so much!! That's incredibly exciting, and I know it will only continue to grow!! I will be praying that a wonderful man will come into your life at the perfect time, for you and for Cooper :)

  4. Love that hair!! I can't believe he is getting so big.

  5. also you are extremely strong!! I don't know how you do it, but it's awesome, all my props go to you!!

  6. you are incredible. absolutely incredible.

  7. cooper is cutie pie!thank you for reading about my sweet twins. I just stop by. I love reading about my readers. You have some really cute fabrics in your etsy shop. Let me know if there is something you want to learn how to make. Mamas need to stick together.