Sunday, August 11, 2013

I'm fighting for my baby's life


I haven't been around these parts much lately.  I'm barely keeping up with everything going on in our day-to-day life.  My mind is spinning out of control.  There are so many good things and so many awful things happening at the same time right now that it is hard to breathe. 

I'm fighting for my baby's life. 

It is not a medical issue, thank The Lord.  It is the possibility of Cooper being ripped away from me and placed in an unfamiliar home with unfamiliar people.  I am fighting to keep him with me.  I am fighting to make sure that he does not end up between two homes.  I am fighting to keep stability in his life.  I am fighting to make sure that it is me, his mama, that gets to nurse him, rock him, and put him to bed each night.  Not a man with a drinking problem.  Not a woman who abused drugs.  

For months I was waiting to be served.  It didn't happen.  Then we went away for ten days and came back to a note on my door saying that I had papers waiting for me at the sheriffs office.  You cannot prepare yourself for that moment, I tried.  Even if someone tells you they're going to punch you before they do it, it's still going to hurt like hell when they do.  

"Some weekends, all holidays, all summer, and Fathers Day"  That's what he wants.  Over my dead body.

So when I don't respond to comments, if it takes me far too long to reply to emails, when I don't answer texts or phone calls just remember, I'm fighting for my baby's life and it is sucking all of the energy out of me.  

I'm spending more time playing with Cooper, more time reading to him, more time taking him outside, more time giving him baths, more time kissing his sweet cheeks and telling him he's my world, and more time holding and rocking him because I don't know what is going to happen.  My life is in the hands of a judge and I am terrified.  

5 comments:

  1. I will be praying so much for you, Olivia! I cannot imagine how difficult this is, and I will be praying that God take care of your little boy and his future, and that He blesses your Mama heart.

    Love you girl! Stay strong. I know I don't even need to say that, because you will :)

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  2. Hey Olivia, I never write but always read your blog, I feel as if we are in similiar situations. I'm a single, college student mom of a wonderful 3 year old son who makes me fight everyday! ! You can and will beat this! You are your sons mother and times I KNOW it gets hard but at the end of the day it's so worth it!!

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  3. Praying for you sweet lady! *HUGE HUGS*

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  4. I'm sorry you and Cooper have to go through this. It's not fair. Hope you had a fun weekend! :)

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    1. I had a GREAT weekend!! Just about to post a little something about it actually ;)

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