Monday, October 28, 2013

from there to here

i scored big-time here.  

i was telling eric last night that i was thankful for the time that passed between when frank left and him and i got back in touch with each other.  i went through a lot (as many of you know!).  i dated a handful of guys but none of them were going to be in my future and i knew it.  while i didn't give them a fair shot because my heart was still broken and my mind was on the impending doom of court 24/7, they are important parts of this story because they made me realize that i needed to refine my wants/wishes/dreams/expectations for the man that would become my husband and be the other half of my future.  besides the dating i did here and there i also had so many unresolved feelings with frank.  yes he left, but yes, i also told him that i didn't love him anymore.  three months after he left when i started missing him my mind did this thing where it blocked out all of the (so much) bad that our relationship was and i yearned for things that didn't ever exist.  i had to think i still loved him and talk it out with all of the important people in my life to realize that i didn't.  i had to look at coopers sweet face really really hard and remind myself that us not being together is the very best thing for all of us, but especially for cooper.  i had to be alone.  really alone and lonely and bored and everything else that is when your baby goes to bed at 7pm each night and it's just you in a quiet apartment.  it all hurt like hell but healed me.  i didn't know how i was going to heal but i definitely didn't think it would be like that. 

all of that to say that i prayed, hoped, and wished that eventually a man who was truly great would happen into my life.  i didn't want to have to date a lot, hurt others, be hurt, etc. but as it turns out it was necessary.  all of those people and experiences prepared me for this.  this really great relationship that i never saw coming but am so unbelievably thankful for.  a true dream come true, really.


we had a really great weekend.  we took the babies to the pumpkin patch with my family, had a pumpkin carving competition, went to the park, went out to eat, played out in the yard, and even did a p90x ab workout.  if that's not a successful weekend, what is?