Thursday, August 21, 2014

Quiet


it's nearly 12:30 a.m. and i've just wrapped up my sewing for loulou made for the night.  twelve orders completed in four.five hours, not bad.  cooper and i nannied for ten hours today and then went through the panara drive-thru and ate dinner in the car on the way home.  he wanted to sit on the couch with eric and i and unwind (bubble guppies, of course) once we got home but it was already eight o'clock and bedtime was officially thirty minutes ago.  days like this make me extremely ready for what's next.

i'm ready to not have to rush cooper in and out the door everyday to get to the next place.  i'm ready for a house with a yard.  i'm ready for my business to be bigger but not too big, it doesn't need to support my whole family -- it just needs to contribute enough.  i want to be able to sit on the couch with the people i love most even if it means bed time gets pushed back a little more -- having no worry about needing to get as much sewing in tonight as i can.  i'm ready for sewing to be the part-time day job.  i'm ready for the university of georgia to be a thing of the past, i am so over college.  i'm ready for consistency, less eating out and more meal preparing at home.  i'm truly just ready for these next four months to be over.

juggling a toddler, a thirty hour a week nannying job, an ever-growing business, college, keeping up the house, and still trying to nurture my relationship with eric is hard.  i feel so exhausted by the end of each day yet find myself not being able to fall asleep easily like i used to be able to.  i'm trying to handle this difficult season with grace and more patience but i walk in the door with a scowl on my face more than i'd like to.

cooper just woke up and is screaming for me.  i'm going to wait a minute to see if he can fall back to sleep.  for the past ten nights he has woken up two to three times each night losing his mind for me.  i feel like i have a newborn again.  phew, he's back out.  i've been rocking him back to sleep one to two times and then giving in and putting him in the bed with me if he wakes up a third time.  i don't sleep well with him in the bed with me but by that point i don't want my feet hitting the ground again until at least seven am. 

the house is quiet again, coopers lunch for preschool is packed, and my eyes are starting to get heavy. tomorrows a new day.

p.s. minus coopers difficulties with sleeping lately, he has been a dreamboat.  he is learning rationale and getting a teeny bit more patient.  he loves big and declares it loudly.  he is my whole world.

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