Saturday, October 4, 2014

24 hours

tonight i feel like the meanest momma in the world.  it is very hard to peel your baby off of yourself and hand him to someone he doesn't want to be with and stay with.  i instantly get brought to tears thinking about what is running through his little mind as he's screaming for me and i have to push myself out the door -- away from him -- when i'm the only person in the world he wants.  i pray endlessly on the days i don't get to have him.  lord, please watch over my baby.  lord, please get my baby back to me safely.  lord, please make sure my baby knows he is loved.  lord, please please please lessen the pain that we both feel on these days.

it's been nearly three months now and 24 hours away from him is still just too long.  it doesn't help that i know he isn't his normal happy and crazy self while he is away.  or that he tells me he was sad and screaming for me.

i just want to hold my baby.

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