Thursday, May 21, 2015


runs quickly into my office while i'm working
cooper: momma! momma! (in the quietest voice) i have bones in my hands.  bones! and muscles in my eyes! and tongue!..... do you? 
me: (before i can even answer)
cooper: nope i don't think you do.  only men do!

riding in the car
cooper: momma what's a woman?
me: a grown-up girl?
cooper: oh, i'm not a woman. 
me: nope.
cooper: but Poppy is!
me: (trying not to break the seriousness of this conversation) no poppy is a man.  i am a woman though.
cooper: but no momma, you're actually just a girl. 

after cooper passes gas over and over again
me: cooper do you need to go to the bathroom?
cooper: no i just farted! sometimes when you fart just a wittle bit of poop comes out.  but that's okay!
me: .......

while mastering the art of persuasion
cooper: well maybe if we just go to dunkin donuts to get a christmas donut real quick then i won't be mean to reid today!
me: .....
cooper: and i'll eat my whole donut too!

playing outside at work waiting for the boss lady to get home
me: (turn around to see a) boss lady pulling up the driveway and b) cooper with his pants down peeing in the bushes) COOPER PULL UP YOUR PANTS RIGHTTHISMINUTE
cooper: when you gotta go, you gotta go, mom. (waddles away with his pants around his ankles)

in the middle of the night last night
cooper: (crying) it hurts, its hurts. owww momma it hurts.
me: cooper wake up, what hurts?
cooper: anything! anything hurts!
me: cooper show me where it hurts.
cooper: snoring.

while i'm talking on the phone
cooper: momma where's my paci?
me: hold on
cooper: momma mom mommy momma where is my paci?
me: hold on cooper i'm on the phone
cooper:  I NEED MY PACI // screams and more screaming
cooper: ahhh just forget about it mom. you're no help.

after reading books before bed
cooper: you're my best friend ever in the whole galaxy momma.
me: you're mine too baby i love you so much.
cooper: yeah i like you too. 

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